It's over. You have consistently let me down. You have failed me. Now, I know, I have failed you, too. I do take some responsibility in this. Ok, it's not you - it's me. No, let's not pussy-foot around this. It's you. You and your decadent texture, your filling, creamy, mouth-watering, insatiable, drug-like honeypot of ecstasy. I remember eating a piece of pie once, sitting across from my husband and teenage daughter, and saying "this is so good I wanna smear it on my tits". Yeah, and had I been alone in a bathtub I probably would have. You've seduced me into becoming a love obsessed whore that longs for your touch on my tongue. Like an abusive lover you apologize for your past transgressions with promises of better days; you tempt me and dance around me with your scent. Thoughts of you promise to comfort me, fill me, lure me into a deep, hypnotic sleep. Pictures of you everywhere around me, on TV, the Internet, curious little recipes on Facebook that mock me and spank me into submission. No more. No longer will I allow myself to succumb to the desire to devour you. No longer will I find my purpose in the taste of you. No longer will I face my mirror in the morning with thoughts of you from the night before still on my mind, and morsels of you still lingering on my breath; thoughts that leave me feeling defeated, milked, and taken advantage of like an innocent young girl. No longer will I allow you to ravish my body and my mind with your delicate crispness and explosive fillings, sauces, and drizzles.
The time has come to say goodbye. Oh, you've been good to me before. We've shared a lot of laughs you and I. We've celebrated together, cried together, overcome anger, sadness, despair. Albeit only temporarily. And yet, when you continued to fail me, I continued to return. Back into your arms once again for that next fill, that next satisfaction. But now, I have to let you go. I have to find satisfaction in myself. You see, you've left me lonely. Even in the space of that fullness, you've left me empty. The sparkle in my eyes where health once was has been replaced with threats of disease and the shadow of personal failure. You've taken everything from me, and the hard truth is, I have allowed it.
So now let the echo of my voice be a reminder to you that what is in the past will remain there. All the times you've hurt me will be a grim reminder to move forward and heal. You are being replaced with simple fuel. Fuel to move me and repair my body. Fuel to live in abundance of life, not abundance of food.
Farewell my lifetime lover, goodbye.
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